Divorce Attorney and Life Advisor for the Huffington Post, Karen Covy asked, “What Do Celebrity Divorces Have That We Don’t… But Should?”
You might think the answer is money, seemingly unlimited resources, or visibility. Yes, maybe all true but, guess again. A prenup? Yes, probably true, but guess once more. Give up? Divorce statements.
Why don’t we do it?
I think the reason that most ordinary people don’t issue “divorce statements” is that they don’t think of themselves as celebrities. Plus, they think that, because they have never issued “a statement” before, that it would be weird to do it when they divorce. (They are right. It would.) But, even though sending a “divorce announcement” may be socially awkward, there is no reason you can’t prepare one anyway and have it ready for when you do need it.
When will you need it? Every time someone says to you, “I haven’t seen your spouse in a while. What’s up?” or, “I heard you are getting a divorce. Is it true?” You will need it whenever someone wants to talk to you about your divorce, but you would rather not have that conversation with them.
The benefits of having a divorce statement
Answering questions about your divorce is incredibly painful, especially early on, when your emotions are totally raw. Having a simple, standard response that you have made in advance to answer questions you would rather not talk about has many benefits:
- It allows you to control your message, the same way it allows celebrities to control their message;
- It keeps you from having to think on your feet when your brain is in a fog. You have a standard answer. You memorize it. You say it. End of divorce discussion;
- It prevents you from having to go into all of the gory details of your divorce with people who barely know you, but still feel entitled to ask prying questions;
- It gives you something to put on social media (if you choose) so that you and your spouse can “tell” people about your divorce in a unified way, without having to actually say anything to people face to face. (Although, fair warning, posting your divorce on social media is a sure way to bring in a deluge of comments, so don’t go there unless you are ready to deal with the attention.); and
- It allows you to convey the basic information, while politely telling people you don’t want to talk about it. If they continue to ask questions anyway, they are the ones being rude.
While you may have never thought about preparing a “divorce statement” before, and you may not think of yourself as a celebrity, this is one time in your life when it makes sense to do what the celebrities do.
The attorneys of Allen Dell pride themselves on staying abreast of trends and changes in laws affecting our clients. Marriage affects all couples whether the partners are of the same-sex or opposite sexes, and whether they are addressing a health care crisis, retirement, divorce or death.
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